Gratitude

As well-seasoned partners, we are supposed to know when and how to give each other space.

But what happens when our kids need one of us just at the moment when we’d rather be buried deep in a book or a blanket or a pile of sand, far away from family or friends or anyone’s demands?

I say, the kids win.

The kids need to know we’re here, no matter how bad our day was, no matter how muddled or conflicted we feel about our lives, no matter how much we want to smash something.

The kids need us. That's all they know.

They’re too young to know about being middle-aged and feeling like half of life is over. They’re too young to know what it feels like when everyone younger seems to be getting ahead further and faster. They can’t relate to the pain of arthritis, or worries about retirement or how much equity is in the house.

They need us when they need us.

And it’s a blessing that they do.

Tonight, E., still finding his way back from the terror of last week's car crash, tried to engage his dad in conversation by asking him about his day. But F., after a sleepless night and a bad day, rebuffed E's attempts. He didn't mean to hurt his son; he just couldn't rally enough energy to get out of his own way.

An opportunity lost. A blessing, missed.

Never overlook the desire of your kid, your teenager, to connect with you.

Be there at the very moment they need you.

Be grateful that the moment exists.