Launching

July 12, 2012

In two months, my first-born leaves for college. Who would’ve thought, when I began trolling through college catalogues, registering her for the SATs, reading her essays and scouting the mail for envelopes (acceptances in manilas, rejections and wait-lists in business-size) one year ago—that my journey in the time capsule would begin?

No one told me that having a baby would hurl me back through my  childhood; that it would bring me face to face with my best and worst memories. And no one told me that my baby's entry into young adulthood would return me to my own.

In particular, I never anticipated R's last year at home to stir up the complete and utter lack of guidance I got when it came to navigating the dizzying process of deciding where to go to college.

No one took me on college tours. No one helped me pour over class lists. I made a decision randomly, like pinning the tail on the donkey. And I have spent more hours in the past year than I'd like to admit, mourning the years I wasted, being in the wrong place.

But R. knows where she belongs. And it fills me with joy and relief to see her preparing to launch, excited and confident about the path she has chosen.

Parenting is such fraught business. I'd like to think I had a hand in helping to steer R. in the right direction.

It helps me sleep at night.