Where We Are

I coulda’ been a contender. I coulda’ been somebody. Marlon Brando as Terry Malloy, “On the Waterfront.”

F. and I pull out these lines when we feel lost and overlooked, like we missed our shot at becoming the stars we’d imagined we’d be; when we realize we’re missing the bigger, more important picture.

Last week, it was my turn. I confess: Not getting the job threw me. I wasn’t sure I wanted it, but I thought I’d have the opportunity to decide. It kept me from brooding about this long stretch of open road that has become my new normal.

“If I had only made different choices,“ I told F. over coffee one morning when I was feeling particularly sorry for myself. “If only I’d gone to a different college, had someone to mentor me…"

“Then what?” he challenged.

“I coulda’ been a contender,” I started chuckling, hearing myself. “I coulda’ been somebody.”

“And you wouldn’t have R. or E or me,” he said, knowing me as no one can, bringing me back to where we are.